Water of Life!

It's such a cliché isn't it. But some clichés exist for a reason. You really cannot live without water.

The short version of this blog post is to simply suggest that when you're feeling a bit run down, increase your fluid intake.

The longer version ... well ... we'll start with what happened to me a few weeks ago.

I woke up at approximately 5am one morning, experiencing what felt like someone dripping hot wax across the top of my legs. Upon exploration I discovered that I was just lying under my duvet as normal, and there were in fact no scary monsters tormenting me. This experience was repeated over the next few nights, the severity of the burning sensation varying from dripping wax to pouring hot oil. I was unable to get an appointment with my GP, so I reached out to my osteopath. The conclusion we drew was that this experience was due to being dehydrated. Indeed, following a few days increased water intake, the unpleasant awakenings ceased.
Huzzah! The power of water!

It is amazing how much of our well being water is actually responsible for. One of the most common causes of headaches, for example, is dehydration, so next time you have a headache drink a glass of water before you reach for the pain killers.

People tend to associate dehydration with pictures of starving children, or desert climates. They don't realise that they can actually function at quite a high level whilst being dehydrated, while they experience a few niggling problems. Consider whether you have any of the following problems:
- dry skin or a poor complexion
- headaches
- pins and needles
- a constant craving for snacks
- indigestion
- a weak bladder
- water infections
- kidney pain (or just lower abdomen pain)
- constipation or slow metabolism
- muscle pains or cramps
- stiff or painful joints
- problems fighting infection
- feeling fatigued or exhausted
- a decrease in energy
- problems controlling your weight
- irritability
- sexual dysfunction

All such symptoms can be caused by not drinking enough every day. There are probably symptoms that I've missed too.

So, how much do you need to drink? The honest answer is that it varies from person to person. As a rule of thumb, most people need to drink approximately 2-3l a day. This amount increases when you sweat a lot (exercise, hot climate, etc), and when you have an upset stomach (diarrhoea = excessive water loss). It also varies according to your size, weight, climate, and with various health conditions. If you're in any doubt as to whether you're drinking enough, just drink more. It's very very difficult to drink too much; your only limitation really is how much your kidneys can process.

If you look more closely at your body, you may be amazed to know that up to 80% of an adults body weight is water, and of that your brain is 90% water, whereas your body is about 70%. 80% of your water intake comes from what you drink, only 20% comes from your food.

If you like to take a lot of pride in your appearance, you may find it interesting to know, that a high water intake is imperative in maintaining a good skin complexion. It will also contribute to healthier hair. (Be patient for results, obviously).

The reason it's helpful in this way, is because the higher the rate of water flowing through all the cells of your body, the more efficiently toxins are being flushed out.

For this reason, also, your metabolism is improved when you consume more water. Your metabolism starts at a cellular level; with energy production, fuel running to and from cells. Just as a higher water intake flushes more toxins from your cells, it also helps deliver nutrients to those cells. The more efficiently this process happens, the more quickly your digestive tract will process it's contents. An efficient digestion means a healthy intestine and colon, and crucially, fends off constipation.

Water is the basis of every fluid and lubricant in your body; blood, sweat and tears, as they say. And saliva .. sebum, lymphatic fluid, joint fluid, etc. Your whole body relies upon water!

So, what actually counts towards your water intake? Well, contrary to what many people will tell you, all liquid that you drink, does count towards it, including alcohol and coffee.

The problem with alcohol is that it is a diuretic; it promotes increased urination. This means that while it is increasing how much fluid goes through your cells, body, etc, it is also coming out a lot more quickly. So, once you've been out for the night, drank an excessive amount of beer, and plonked yourself in bed, unless you specifically made the effort to drink a few glasses of water before going to sleep, the alcohol in your system is likely to line up as much liquid as it can in your bladder, for removal when you awake. The result being that your body is left dehydrated until you replenish your system with more liquid. This is what causes the hang over - severe dehydration.

Coffee, or caffeine, is also a diuretic, but the effect is nowhere near as severe as that of alcohol. Caffeine in itself can cause headaches, but for different reasons. So, a healthy mix of water, fruit juices, teas, and coffee will keep your body happy.

And that is another point to highlight. Keeping your body hydrated doesn't just help your body, but it helps your mind. You're far more likely to be happy, and not irritable, if you are hydrated.

Now, if I take you back to the beginning of my blog piece, to my personal experience. I had indeed been neglecting my hydration a little - not a lot. The hot burning sensation I had been experiencing was a severe version of pins and needles. I am now being certain to drink at least three litres a day, and indeed, when I forget, it hints at returning.

Funky Punky Corset Tops

I've been dying to get these tops on to the website for ages. When I first saw them in the wholesalers catalogue they shouted at me "We ARE the definition of Funky!!!!". And they're so right ... they're so so Funky!

There are three different designs, which come in several different colours.

The "Poison Corset Top" is available in an olive green, black, and pink.

The  "Cat Corset Top" is available in purple and grey.

And last, but by no means least, the "Serpent Corset Top" is available in black and pink.

These tops are not traditional corsets, in that there is no lacing, and they do not have steel bones. They have light plastic bones, giving them their beautiful fitted shape. They fasten at the back by means of hook and eye, as shown below. And they are extraordinarily comfortable. Unlike most plastic boned fashion corsets, I'm able to wear my black Serpent Corset Top all day without discomfort or damage to the top.

They come with attachable straps, so if you're worried about them slipping, or need to hide a bra strap, you're able to turn them into a strappy top with ease. (I did, however, forget to photograph the straps, sorry).

They are currently on the website at the introductory price of £21. It's a very low price, so grab them fast while you can.

Voucher Code

Just a quick post to apologise for neglecting the blog for so long. Personal circumstances have lead to the business taking a back seat for the last few months. Customer service, thankfully, has not suffered however.

Things will be returning to normal over the next few months. Regular blog posts. Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, and Twitter will start to be updated once again.

Meanwhile, please use this voucher code to help you with your Christmas shopping. It will work until December 24th. It will give you 10% off everything in your trolley when you checkout, but you can only use it once. Enjoy.

Voucher Code: XMAS2013

Understanding Dieting

It's nearly the end of the summer now. Time to put away those bikinis. Some of us may look at the months ahead with dread, grab the nearest packet of biscuits, or crisps, or whatever our thing is, and munch away to comfort ourselves as the cold approaches. Then when we see summer coming again, we panic, and follow whatever fad diet we find first.

Well, today I'm going to talk to you about why doing this is bad. I'm a total hypocrite, but I'm also a Health Scientist, so let me share with you what I know, and you can then make your own informed decisions.

Basically, I want you to understand why the Cambridge Diet, the (unofficial) Mayo Diet, the Atkins Diet, etc, are not good, but in order to do that I'm afraid I need to give you a tedious biology lesson.

So let's start with the basics.

Food provides us with two things:

• nutrients
• fuel / energy

Nutrients

Our body's requirements are very specific. It requires certain amounts of various elements and compounds, in order to work. For example, an adult human being requires approximately 4700mg potassium, which is used by the body in protein synthesis, and muscle growth.

It is not impossible for us to look at what our body's nutritional requirements are, look at what the food we eat gives us, and make them match, but it is very difficult. For most of us, trying to do this with our diet would be silly. But understanding the effects of what we do actually eat, is important if we wish to be healthy (especially if you have your eye on a bikini holiday next year). I highly recommend vitamin and mineral supplements. It's extremely difficult to overdose on most nutrients.

Energy

Everything we eat falls into a few simple categories (food groups):

• dietary fibre
• protein
• fat
• complex carbohydrates
• simple carbohydrates

To oversimplify:

• A lot of dietary fibre comes from fruit, vegetables, and nuts.
• Fibre is required to keep your digestive tract (intestines and colon) moving and healthy. In other words, without fibre you will become constipated.
• Fibre is usually very low in calories / energy.

Protein

• is found in meat, dairy products, eggs, tofu, legumes, nuts and seeds.
• is required for cell regeneration. Your body's tiny little building blocks don't last very long, so you're constantly producing new ones, without even knowing you're doing it.
• cannot be stored by the body (it is not stored as fat), so excess protein becomes part of your urine.
• provides some energy.

Fats

Fats are complicated, so if you wish to understand more than my brief explanations here, have a look at some of the links at the end of the post.

Your body needs fat! 

• Fat contains essential nutrients which are used to make cells and hormones - and no, eliminating fats, doesn't suddenly make women sane at that difficult time of month, sorry.
• The body makes it's own fat from unused calories.
• Fat provides a lot of energy.

The complicated bit:

• Saturated (BAD) fat, mostly comes from animals. For example, fat on a steak, bacon rind, etc. It raises cholesterol, which is bad for the heart, and can clog up veins and arteries.
• Trans (BAD) fat, again, mostly comes from animals, but is often synthetic. Again, they can cause problems for the heart.

Unsaturated (GOOD) fats, fall into two camps:

• Monounsaturated (GOOD) fat is found mostly in vegetables (sunflower, olive, peanut, sesame, etc).
• Monounsaturated (GOOD) fats can REDUCE cholesterol already in your blood, and lower your risk of heart disease or stroke.
• Polyunsaturated (GOOD) fats are found in seeds, fatty fish, and vegetable oils.
• Polyunsaturated (GOOD) fats again improve cholesterol levels, and also decrease the risk of type 2 diabetes.

So to summarise:

• BAD = animal fats and synthetic fats.
• Good = vegetable / seed fats, and fatty fish fats.

Carbohydrates

Fairly often people think of carbohydrates as being things like bread, pasta, potatoes, rice, etc. But these are "complex carbohydrates". Sugar is also a carbohydrate though; "simple carbohydrates". So, most sweets you scoff, fall into the carbohydrate category.

• the body needs carbohydrates to create fuel / energy, literally to keep the body running.
• excess carbohydrate is stored by the body as fat, in the muscles and liver.
• limiting carbohydrates essentially throws the body into "starvation".

Also interesting and useful to know:

• excess fat is stored in the muscles
• it can then be converted to muscle if more muscle is needed
• fat takes up three times as much space as muscle (people often say 'muscle is heavier than fat', which isn't quite correct).
• muscle will be converted to energy when there is no more fat available.
• the body's metabolism requires a huge amount of energy. (Metabolism is a complicated process whereby the food we eat is converted into the energy the body requires, at a cellular level).
• eating breakfast starts the metabolism each day.

Starvation

When the body is thrown into "starvation" it is forced to create energy by converting the fat stored in the muscles (and, eventually, the liver).

The short term effects of this are that the individual will suffer from low energy levels. They will also suffer fatigue, dizziness, headaches, toilet problems, and irregular periods.

The long term consequence of the body going into starvation is that it expects to do so again in the future. You've given it the message that food is scarce. As such, it stores fat at a higher rate than it previously had done. Your body doesn't have a consciousness, so cannot understand that you chose to starve it. It's role is survival, keeping you alive; if there's a risk that you could starve, it wants to combat it. Your body really doesn't care if you get fat.

Some people will go in to a severe form of shock when carbohydrates are eliminated for a prolonged period of time.

Understanding Fad Diets

Most of these diets instruct you to cut out all carbohydrates and fat, some require you to eliminate meat too. They usually have added twists. I've seen one stating that adding a grapefruit in the morning speeds up your metabolism. I've seen another stipulating in detail exactly what carbohydrates to eat each week. Such details make diets look more authentic to the uninformed. What you need to remember is that every single person is different, so a diet written for the masses is not tailored to anyone.

So, using the information above, you can start to understand how these diets work.

1. By cutting out carbohydrates, both complex and simple, your body is no longer receiving it's main source of fuel / energy. It is therefore forced to rely upon secondary sources; the smaller amount of energy produced from eating fat and protein, and energy from converting your fat deposits.
2. By cutting out fat, then fat as a secondary source of energy is eliminated.
3. If the diet stipulates that you cut out meat too, then another source of energy is eliminated. Each time a source is eliminated it places more pressure on the body to produce it's own energy.
4. If the diet stipulates that there should be an increase in exercise it is increasing the amount of energy required, and therefore placing even more pressure on the body to convert fat to energy. (I'm not saying people shouldn't exercise).
5. Removing so many foods from the diet will inevitably mean that people are losing vital nutrients they require in order to have a healthy body.
6. Those that give a milkshake are providing those nutrients, but by giving the dieter milk they're making the diet take longer.
7. By telling the dieter that they can eat as many fruit and vegetables as they can manage they are making sure the metabolism is kept going, tricking the body into thinking it is receiving a lot of fuel to turn into energy.

Why I hate these diets:

• Firstly, most of them point you towards your Body Mass Index (BMI) to show you how much you should weigh. Most people look at their BMI with horror. The BMI does not take into account muscle mass. Most of us have muscle mass of some level; we wouldn't be able to stand up and walk around otherwise. So, when you look at your BMI, take it with a pinch of salt. According to their BMI, weight lifters are obese.
• Secondly, I mentioned previously that some people's bodies go into severe shock when carbohydrates are with-held for a prolonged period of time. I've first hand experience of this, and do not want to ever see anyone go through it again. Yes, weight loss was drastic, but the suffering was immense, and as I've also previously mentioned, weight gain afterwards was very fast.
• Many people who use these diets are desperate to lose some weight. They are deeply unhappy with how their body makes them feel, both physically, and emotionally. These diets do not warn people that once they return to eating carbohydrates they are likely to retain fat at a higher rate than previously, so they are doing more harm than good.
• The majority of these diets do not cover the consequences associated with suddenly changing ones diet (either at the beginning or the end), of eliminating food groups from the diet (removing nutrients will lead to deficiencies), or any of the health risks that can be associated with dieting.
• They do not take into account, in any way at all, an individual's needs, let alone any health conditions.
• Their mere existence feeds the illusion that there is an ideal body type.

I will discuss, at another time, the way I encourage people to lose weight. For now I will give you a simple and brief outline:

• do not expect weight loss to be fast.
• eat when you wake up, to start your metabolism.
• reduce meal sizes.
• have dinner at lunch time, and a snack at dinner time.
• swap out sugary snacks for fruit and vegetables.
• reduce the complex carbohydrate proportion of your meals, but do not eliminate it.
• increase the amount you exercise.
• make all changes slowly.

It is important to understand that we are not all designed to look the same. And none of us are designed to look like Barbie. The posters and magazines you see are not real; I'll show you in another blog post how they create those looks.

People who are fit and healthy, who don't have to make any effort in order to be so, often do not believe that others find it difficult. I advise ignoring unkind comments from such people. Yes, there are glandular conditions that can cause slight or severe weight gain. And of course, there are illnesses that mean people are a lot less mobile; the inability to exercise off energy inevitably leads to weight gain.

So, don't aspire to be something you cannot be.

References

BMI Healthy Weight Calculator

Cambridge Diet

The Mayo Clinic Grapefruit Diet - Fiction - Bad

Mayo Clinic Diet - Good

The Atkins Diet

Livestrong.com

Potassium and the diet

Carbohydrates

Dietary Fibre

Top 10 Foods Highest in Protein

Protein - Excess Consumption

Calories in Context

Why Your Body Needs Some Fat to be Healthy

Dietary Fats: Know which ones to choose

Saturated and Unsaturated Fats

Monounsaturated Fats

Choosing Healthy Fats

Fat: The Facts

What happens if you severely limit your intake of carbs?

Weighing the Truth about Scales

Metabolism

Shimmering Chic Skirt

Honestly, it was a mistake buying these skirts for an online store. Why? Because pictures simply cannot show how amazing they are. They just look like a skirt, don't they ...

Well, they're no ordinary skirt!

The first thing of note is that they are wrap around skirts. They have a number of button holes along the top, so that they can fit many sizes. I would estimate that the button holes allow for sizes from 12 to 20. Someone a little smaller could easily wear the skirt by wrapping it more tightly though.

The second thing is a little peculiar. They are marketed as 'short' and 'long'. The 'short' version of the skirt actually falls to approximately half way down the calf, while the 'long' version falls to the ankle. When they are hung next to each other it's rather difficult to tell the lengths apart.

But what really sells these skirts to me, is the iridescent quality. They are double layered. The top layer is a beautiful rich colour embellished with embroidery, sequins, or beads (depending on which design you look at). The top layer is also transparent. The layer underneath is beautifully soft against your skin, but more importantly, it's a colour that contrasts with the top layer. So as the skirt moves you experience a variety of shades and colours sneaking past your eyes.

They're quite simply, exquisitely beautiful.

The problem with them, as depicted below, is that the camera picks up the colour of the fabric under layer, rather than the effect of the two layers combined.

It looks blue with red around it doesn't it. When you wear it, it's actually a shimmering mixture of purples and reds.

The skirtsare 100% rayon, made from sari fabric. The sari is the Indian traditional dress for women, dating back 5000 years. They are one length of fabric, varying in length. They're usually several feet long. One end of the sari fabric is tucked into the under-blouse, the choli. Once the sari is neatly wrapped around the body, the other end may be draped over the shoulder, or across an arm. This end is called the pallu, and is highly decorated.

Different areas in India have different types of traditional sari. Some depict patterns from the Mongol era, villages, flowers and temples, others depict peacocks.

We have a number of these skirts in stock. Each one is totally different. If you are interested in them pay attention to the description section more than the picture. My personal favourite is the black over orange (I usually hate orange).

Currently they are very low priced, because of the difficulty in depicting them.
The calf length skirt is £17.
The full length skirt is £24.20
(That's actually due to an error with the software running the store; they're supposed to be £27).

Buy the skirt here.

Gothic Kiss

9 Step Guide to Awesome Lips Approximate application duration: 5 minutes

What you will need

1. Lip Moisturiser - New Balm by Maybelline is used here.
2. Lipstick - 148 305 by Barry M is used here.
3. Blotter (toilet paper)
4. Loose Powder - 001 Transparent Silky Loose Face Powder by Rimmel London is used here.
5. Lip Brush - Retractable Lip Brush by La Cross is used here.
6. Kohl Pencil - Soft Kohl Kajal  Eye Liner Pencil by Rimmel London is used here.
7. Pencil Sharpener
8. Lip Gloss - Paris by Avon (not sure which brand) is used here.

 

Step by Step

1. Wash Your Face Your skin naturally produces oils. They are rarely distributed evenly across the skin, and they can cause cosmetic problems to have difficulty adhering to our skin. As such we need to wash them away. Pin your hair back so that it doesn't get in the way.
2. Moisturise If lips are left un-moisturised they will develop dry patches. When you apply lipstick across these it looks patchy. Moisturising lips regularly means that you get an even dispersion of colour when you apply lipstick. Ideally you'll moisturise your lips as part of your skin care regime, but if you do not have such a regime simply moisturise at the beginning of the lip decoration process.
3. Base Coat Apply the first coat of lipstick straight from the tube, just as you normally would. We're using Barry M's blue lipstick. Gently close your lips over the piece of toilet paper to blot off any excess; don't press hard.
4. Powder Gently pad the sponge from the powder pot over your lips. Again blot gently with the paper. The powder is to create a lock on your lips, to help make the colour last longer. (I find it so frustrating when my lipstick seems to have disappeared after an hour or less). It's best to use 'nude' or 'translucent' powder, but it tends to be more expensive. So you can pick a colour nearer the colour of lipstick you're likely to wear instead.
5. Second Coat Use your lip brush to apply a coat of the main lip colour, in this case blue, over your powdered lips. Work it in to all the creases really well, building up the colour slowly. You'll get a lovely vibrant finish. If you simply want one lip tone that stays put, skip to step 9. Always clean your lip brush after use. Because lipstick is oil based it takes a drop of washing up liquid to clean brushes properly. I usually brush the brush on a piece of toilet paper or a cotton wool pad instead, until it no longer has any colour in it to brush off.
6. Line Your Lips Sharpen the lip pencil to the thickness you would like the line around your lips to be. Very carefully draw around the edges of your lips. If you wish for your lips to look a little bigger, take the line just outside them. Go over the line a couple of times, making sure you've a generous portion of product there. I've personally found the kohl eye pencils are the best for lining my lips. If your hands are unsteady like mine, have a cotton bud handy to tidy up if you accidentally bodge the line.
7. Blend Using the brush again, gently tease the line you've drawn around your lips into the full lip colour.
8. Side Fill Use the Kohl Pencil to colour in the sides of your bottom lip, leaving between a third and a half of the main lip colour visible in the centre of your lips. Gently press your lips together to create a slightly smudged effect on the top lip. If you use the side of the kohl then you don't blunt the point for the next time you wish to use it.
9. Gloss! Lip gloss supposedly makes your colour last longer. Personally I have never found it to work, but it does make your lips look lovely and luscious. Put a couple of splodges of gloss on your lips - don't wipe it all over them, as you'll ruin the effect you've just created - and gently press your lips together a few times to cover them in gloss.

Finished Product!

Further Exploration

You can use the same technique with other coloured lipsticks.

1.	2.
3.	4.
5.	6.

These are the lipsticks used above:

1. Violet Friday by Avon Color Trend
2. Intimate by Avon Color Trend
3. LG08 from the Body Shop (this is quite an old lipstick, so I'm uncertain whether they still sell this).
4. Violet by Janet. (This lipstick is advertised as being fluorescent; it does not glow).
5. Ice Blue by Star Gazer (This lipstick however, does glow under UV lighting).
6. 148 305 by Barry M

Gypsy Boho Tie Dye Dress

When we receive packages from wholesalers, we seem to often be in for an unexpected surprise. These dresses were one of those surprises; we ordered them believeing they were tops. On an average woman though, they fall well beneath the knee, so we're definitely classing them as dresses.

It's a beautiful dress. Worn alone it is perfect for the summer. It's light weight, airy, and very comfortable. It can easily be the piece ladies choose to wear over their costume. Yet it also makes an amazing part of a larger ensemble; layering it with a skirt, t-shirt and cardigan, creates an eclectic winter outfit, as in the picture below.

The dress is designed to flatter curvacious women. As you can see, the fabric flows from just below the breastline, so it drapes beautifully over your curves.

The cleverly designed neckline and bust area easily encompass larger sized breasts, yet for smaller chested ladies the fabric does not gape as it can so easily do on badly cut clothing.

The manufacturer of these dresses is clearly very well versed in tie-dying, as they've been able to acheive intricate patterns on some areas of the fabric.

I'm uncertain of how they've acheived these patterns, but the beautiful ribbed effect; the part that looks a little like multi-coloured giraffe spots, anyone can do. It has various names, which include sewing, folding, and the accordion. The effect is acheieved by creating a consatina effect with the fabric intended for dying, and securing it with rubber bands or string before applying the dye.

Each item differs slightly, but all those we currently stock are of the colours / patterns depicted here.

The dress is only £15.

We offer free shipping on all purchases from The Funky Orchard.

Gift wrapping is available.
Buy it here.

How to Tie Dye

How to tie dye an old white shirt

How to tie dye a shirt

How to tie dye

Dylon tie dye guide

Tie dye techniques

How to tie dye with kids